Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Mom said you looked used
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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