You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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