I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
