You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
