Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize