That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
