I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
