Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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