they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
