Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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