my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
