were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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