things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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