Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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