That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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