You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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