I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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