I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
