ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
