God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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