Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
