I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
