Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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