a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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