I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
