i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
