last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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