My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
