Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize