Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
