Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
