How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
