Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
