I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
