shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
