there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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