I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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