Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
