Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
