I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
