I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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