My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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