One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
