eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
