Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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