Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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