I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
