As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
