He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
