so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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