my text book just quoted the cookie monster
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
