i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
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A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...