Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?

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  (312): so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion? http://tfl.nu/og9d
  Replies (97) Good night (1154) Bad night (8234)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?

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  (906): i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius? http://tfl.nu/ei5s
  Replies (150) Good night (14870) Bad night (3544)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?

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  (856): He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs? http://tfl.nu/ic15
  Replies (31) Good night (8668) Bad night (1386)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.

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  (801): my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god. http://tfl.nu/bqw0
  Replies (5) Good night (1023) Bad night (4068)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea

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  (850): I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea http://tfl.nu/d42k
  Replies (18) Good night (5838) Bad night (1088)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.

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  (801): I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey. http://tfl.nu/fucb
  Replies (8) Good night (2404) Bad night (1126)
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  (347): View more from New York

  his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.

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  (347): his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you. http://tfl.nu/crxb
  Replies (9) Good night (3430) Bad night (943)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!

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  (469): I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida! http://tfl.nu/oplt
  Replies (13) Good night (3906) Bad night (941)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after

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  (979): I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after http://tfl.nu/y0mb
  Replies (8) Good night (4797) Bad night (868)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You took my underwater blowjob virginity.

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  (304): You took my underwater blowjob virginity. http://tfl.nu/gggt
  Replies (5) Good night (1708) Bad night (531)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina

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  (204): That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina http://tfl.nu/e6cy
  Replies (6) Good night (1005) Bad night (459)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too

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  (601): I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too http://tfl.nu/lcoq
  Replies (2) Good night (928) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.

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  (978): If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win. (508): And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them. http://tfl.nu/dotb
  Replies (5) Good night (606) Bad night (348)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.

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  (401): Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché. http://tfl.nu/g4lg
  Replies (0) Good night (507) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?

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  (313): Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs? http://tfl.nu/w5xb
  Replies (0) Good night (653) Bad night (312)

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