I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"