i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize