Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.