69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
