Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
