Old men and throwing up are my life now.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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