So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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