My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
