i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
