Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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