After last night, I could never be a politician.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
