He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
