god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
