I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
